Sep 30

An Average of 14 Months To Be A Parent? Not Really…

According to an article in the, new parents will get used to being parents after 14 months.

It’s amazing the manner some organisations or experts would categorise parenting in a time-locked manner to help new parents cope with expectations.

The numbers are according to a survey that indicates about 34 per cent of UK parents saying that htey were not in the slightest bit prepared for the difficulties associated with taking care of children.

According to the survey, the most difficult part of being a parent is the constant tidying of play-places and sleepless nights.

Parenting includes all of those. To be honest, don’t expect them to disappear after 14 months.

As a single parent, it was best for me to accept that I will make mistakes in caring for them. With my husband’s leaving, I was left to my own devices. But I didn’t really mind the trouble. You will truly spend three hours or even less on yourself for an entire day. It can be difficult.

I’ve seen marriages break down because of taking care of children.

But to say that it takes only 14 months to become an expert is like saying you could become a golf expert overnight.

It takes passion, dedication and an understanding of your child’s behaviour to succeed.

Take it from me. I’ve been a single mother for more than a decade and a half.

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Jul 26

The Difficulty of Having No One Have Your Back

I can empathise with Faith Melley.

A mother of three from Florida, she was arrested for driving with an expired license and having violated probation, she was arrested by authorities on June 30.

Her life was made worse when she was in jail because nobody can take care of her children. To add, her mother had died, which was what began her dilemma.

Her mother had been taking care of her children while she was away.

To top things further, the landlord of her rented property had “given all her stuff away.”

This is the difficulty of having no one have your back. It is possibly that Faith Melley isn’t a bad woman and a bad mother; she had a restraining order against the father of her children because of domestic violence. Now, the children are with him as the court shows their lack of confidence in the parenting capabilities of Faith.

This is the most painful blow a single mother could have. As her imprisonment may take months to serve, her children may have since grown with their father. Her belongings, including her family photos, have been taken by complete strangers.

While it is all unfair, individuals involved in the unfairness of things will likely meet their rightful consequence.

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May 24

Jeremy Hunt Has Opened The Way For Our Rights

Single parenting isn’t an easy thing. I’ve been through it for 30 years and I’ve yet to retire. My two children are worth all the trouble in the world.

I rejoiced when Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt abandoned the case between single parents being unable to raise surrogate children. Instead, he gave it to these parents-to-be because there is discrimination between couples who could take care of surrogate children and single parents being disallowed to do so.

But many contradict this idea because they said the needs of the child had been put least to fulfil the rights of parents where it is prioritised that children’s needs should be at the forefront.

I understand that rule and reaction. But not every family can have both parents live in the same house. Sometimes, they would rather function better on their own than work with anybody else. And they can be company owners, such as I.

There is no trouble with the rule. There should be a rule however to parents who couldn’t provide a safe haven and good future to their children. Trust me. I’ve seen lots of couples who couldn’t provide for their children properly. Yet I’ve seen single parents who could introduce a great life and better future for their kid or kids.

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Mar 31

Why I Agree With Jennifer Campbell

If you’re a parent, you have read this post, and you empathize, then you understand what parenting really is.

I’ve been a parent of two kids myself and Jennifer Campbell is right in saying we’re imperfect people.

What does society expect of a parent? Or a single parent perhaps?

Parents are supposed to guard their children. People are angry at parents who seem to neglect their children because they themselves may have or not have been neglected in the same manner.

Let me assure you that parents are not God. We try our best. But sometimes, that ends up in bitter failure.

In a world where judgments and a lack of information is abound, people can judge you and induce ‘social media justice’, which is similar to how witches were burned in the United States during a time of ignorance.

Jennifer had to take care of two children on her own. One was still an infant and while her child had been lost countless times, she tried. I know she did. Eyebags speak for themselves.

It’s easy to say that if you had planned before this happened, these kids would have a better life. I wouldn’t say so myself. Plans are set to fail at some point and one needs to improvise.

Every parent tries his or her best to improvise. And we can fail.

We’re sorry if we look like bad parents. But do know we try our best.

One day hopefully, you can understand.

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Jan 26

Why We Shouldn’t Dismiss Our Kids By Having Them “Walk It Off”

Britons are well-known for having their children become independent. Apparently, all western families expect their children at some point to be independent. Compared to Asians, we let go of our children by the age of 18 to college, where they spend their life independent, budgeting daily expenses and managing their time for fun.

It would seem we would only see our kids until they reach the age of 18.

And at this time, we become British to our children by dismissing their excuses for certain troubles by ordering them to “walk it off”.

When children are hurt, they want comfort. While tough love works in certain ways, it may also encourage hatred and the lack of empathy to the struggle of other people.

This is actually why most adults nowadays mind their own business and never attempt to do anything even if they see something wrong right in front of them. Unless it’s already a big foul, they would never jump in a physically-abusive boyfriend’s issue with his girlfriend in public, or sensitivity to the homeless, who just need someone to talk to.

Negativity never taught any kid to be nice to other kids. While it encourages great competition that increases the level of skill and technicality every child has against each other, not everything in life is a competition. Most of it is made of experience. And a positive experience makes for a better person.

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Nov 26

The Advantages And Disadvantages Of Hiring Household Help

During my early days of motherhood, my elder child Stephanie would cry almost every four hours and little Jacques. If you’re not parents yet, well, most little babies sleep around two to four hours during their first three months.

Both kids paralysed me from working. I had to ask my neighbour Chantal to take care of my babies while I was gone. While she would do it for free, I considered hiring household help.

Well, should you?


More Time To Use

Obviously, once you hire household help, you have more time to create your daily budget spending at home and for work, plan your baby’s future, understand the risks involved in your daily life and which kind of insurance policies should you take out. It’s not an easy task to think about while feeding or putting a child to sleep.

Have Clearer Thought

You can also think about how to reduce your debt or how to assert yourself during a business proposition. Having a child is quite great, to be honest, but you’ll concentrate more on making your child smile or making sure all their needs are addressed instead of focusing on what truly matters; how to prepare for the future.


Quality Of Work

Of course, having household help can guarantee you couldn’t find some things you want in your house found immediately. Also, they may not treat your kids right.

Not to terrify you or anything, but I’ve heard stories of abusive, hurtful nannies who can’t keep their temper.

Lesson here? Find the right kind of nanny and fast.

Strained Relationships

A single mother or a single parent for that matter will have tons of responsibilities mounted on their shoulders. This would mean the Nanny is closer with your children with regards to her relationship with them than you are. I know this hurts lots, but you might have some luck, like I did.

Both kids still recognise me as their mother after they grew up, which is nice for me, to be honest.

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Sep 29

Three Ways To Make Single-Mom Parenting More Convenient

Being a single parent can be a huge pain. If you’re taking care of your newborn by yourself, don’t take the responsibility all by yourself. You could invest responsibility with your young one. Ask friends and your own parents for help.  Also do the following!

Buy The Gadgets You Need

Why do you need a new Pad or Smartphone for? You need a multitool to access information quickly without having to turn on your laptop. Should you invest in an expensive electric breast pump for yourself? Surely! It’s expensive for a reason.

In my experience, using a breast pump allowed me to leave Jacques with my mother with some breastmilk. He grew up healthy drinking from my source and I don’t regret owning that pump.

Besides, these pumps cost as much as what you’d spend for formula milk per year.

Make Time For Yourself

Self-time is also important. It does not mean you’re a mother you have to spend all your days with your child. You are your own person. Ask your family to allow you to chase after your dreams. I know, it could be troublesome to ask for help, but life is not worth living if one will not take the risk.

Trust me, I’ve taken my own share of risks and this is one of the best things to do when you’re alive.

Ask Help From Friends

True friends will find ways to help you. If you need them to babysit your child or at least teach them values that you believe will be helpful, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Most single-parents I know wouldn’t do it. I was hesitant to do it at first myself. But I saw the benefits of my child learning values and seeing new people in his life. Jacques had many trade skills as soon as he was seven-years-old because of my friends.


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Jul 27

How Do You Adjust Your Life When You Get Newborn Twins?

My Jacques and Stephanie aren’t twins. Jacques was born a few years after Stephanie came out. While they’re the best of friends (and sometimes the best of enemies), sometimes it bugs me to think that what if they were twins when they came out.

A friend of mine last week told me her story about her ‘twinvasion’ as she called it. She said she was both happy and almost petrified that she had twins growing inside of her because one: she didn’t know if her baby-house could handle it and two: the financial side of things will always cradle your head when you sleep.

She said the first few weeks were terrible. She had to mentally prepare herself for the possible troubles ahead. This includes a new routine and new budgeting. My friend also has a five-year-old son and a two-year-old girl, which spells much doom.

But she said every fear and worry washed away after they looked at the two kids who just came out. She came to know them and she loved them. Of course, you don’t get much sleep when it’s the first night you go with your babies.

Twins need lots of feeding, diapering and cuddling, which babies and mommies really like. Also daddies.

No new baby is really easy, mind you. But it’s always worth the time and love when you spend time with them. I could say that is true for myself. I love babies, I love them even if they’re older now.

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May 27

Is This You: The Modern Day Mom’s Expenses

Most Moms (and Dads) of the modern world will cut back from their budget to buy items for their baby. However, plenty are still thinking of the things they want to buy for their child.

Today’s mothers are faced with the prospect that you would need $200,000 to raise a child effectively. However, plenty of mothers, about 97.2 give advice to other moms about the products and services they have purchased.

Check out this infographic for more information.

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Mar 25

The ROI of Your Mom [Infographic]

In all honesty, I am against putting a price against people. But at some point, when you budget your resources, you have to deal with placing values on people, even those you love. A return of investment or ROI is a business term that gives value to things based on their capability to give back more than what you provide.

So, is it possible to measure your Mom’s ROI? Do you agree with this? As a mom, I’d like to retain an open mind. Putting this out there for information’s sake!

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