I love it of course. I have wanted to be a mom since the beginning of my time. I've worked in a day care centers or been a nanny/babysitter since I was like, 13 or something and I've always adored children. I asked my husband every day, " Can we have kids yet?" and I imagined my life being a mom.
And now, here it is.
I am a mother.
A mother to a son, which I never imagined happening so soon. I always thought I would have a girl first, maybe because I wanted a girl so bad. Out of all the kids I used to watch, 90% of them were girls. So naturally, I thought I had girls all figured out. I knew how to dress them, how to play with them, what kind of things they liked to do. They were so much "easier" than boys. Girls would do crafts, go on walks, and make up dances to funny songs while boys would run around in circles pointing fake guns at me and throwing dirt at their brother and I was left to let them do whatever they were doing with those action figures because I had no idea what else to do.
Boys are weird. Crazy. Too violent. Dirty. Jumping off the furniture with too much energy sort of people.
I thought there was no way I would have a boy first. I couldn't. Boys are hard. I have no idea how to take care of boys.
And God gave me a boy.
Now that he is here, obviously I'm glad he is who he is, and I'll worry about the fake gun issue later on. I love him to pieces- don't think for one second that I wish he were a girl now because I don't! Girls are full of drama and attitude. Now THAT is hard.
Anyways, boy or girl, motherhood is hard. It's hard to have someone need you 24 hours a day. It's hard figuring out what is wrong with your baby when he is crying. It's hard figuring out how to go shopping. :) It's hard waking up every three hours at night. It's hard.
But it's the best thing ever.
Holding your sleeping, peaceful baby. Seeing those big eyes and that smiling face look up at you. Learning how to love and have patience.
Everything. It's the best thing ever.
3 comments:
I also was expecting to have a girl (why??) as my first and I was pretty dismayed for a bit to have a son. (Of course, I had a girl 10 months later, so I didn't have long to wait...) I absolutely love my little guy but he is "all boy" - as EVERYONE points out to me. A little messy, dirty tornado. ;) It's hard but I wouldn't trade him for the world. OTOH I'm also glad I have a dainty little peanut daughter to dress up in cute clothes and look forward to playing Little Mermaid with. ;) Then again, my son loves pink, butterflies, dresses, and My Little Ponies, too...
I'm a mom to 3 boys! They ARE messy little tornados - lol! I'm still trying to figure them out. They are a lot of fun.
I also saw myself as a mother to one boy. My first was a girl and people started saying, "You'll have to have a boy so you'll have one that will love you best." She's always been a daddy's girl. I got pregnant again, and thought for sure I'd have a boy. I thought so the entire pregnancy until one of the doctors announced "it's a girl". I wondered how I would take care of girls because most of my friends were guys. I wondered how we would get along. Now, I have two daddy's girls and that will be it. It's just fine. I love them and I will learn. I'm not afraid anymore.
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