Mama Interview: Paige's IVF Miracle

 1. How many kids do you have and how old are they?

I have one daughter, Aellyn, and she is almost 4 months old!  She is an IVF with ICSI miracle !

2. What is the best part about being a mom?

Uh, after waiting so long I cherish every minute but I guess I'd say I love the closeness I feel when nursing and always feeling her next to me while we cosleep.  Oh, that smile !  What a dream - melts my heart.  I wonder what I lived for before her. 

3. What's the hardest part?

Worry.  Making a decision about a parenting style or health care choice is easy when you are looking at cold hard facts but much more difficult with an infant in your arms.  For, example, my husband and I decided after much research that we would not be giving our daughter the vitamin K shot routinely given to newborns.  My first night home from the hospital I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic thinking about how I'd feel if she was the one in 10,000 who died of hemorrhagic disease. My first lesson in the second guessing that parenting is rife with.

4. What has happened to you as a mother that you never expected?

 I'm part of a secret (or not-so-secret) mommy club!  Mothers seem to come up and talk to me and meet my baby and I of course want to meet theirs.  Instant camaraderie even if it is just a look across the deli counter.

5. If you could give a new mom one piece of advice, what would it be?

Trust your instincts!  I think the plethora of parenting book, while informative, might undermine our trust in ourselves.  Maternal instinct is very real and infinitely valuable.  You know your own child best.  Counting diapers, hours since last feeding, and comparing nap times with "the book" can steal some of the joy of being a mommy. 

6. What our values and belief's in raising your children?

Ah, deep question.  I think I have two primary beliefs guiding my parenting style.  One, I think it is important to make decisions for the long term and not the immediate, or as Dr. Phil says "you aren't raising kids you're raising adults!"  To me, this is the heart of Attachment Parenting.  I nurse, co-sleep, babywear, and respond to my daughters needs empathetically not because it is convenient now but because I know it will nurture her for the future.  My other belief is that God knows what he is doing.  He built us to be curious and healthy - and I trust that many things we tinker with are better when they grow organically and that forcing them can have undesired effects.  For example, I believe that learning is natural for all humans and does not require "schooling" and, in fact, schooling can take away the love of learning.  I also believe that with good diet and lifestyle the body is amazingly adept at fighting infection and disease so I work to boost my family's immune system naturally and avoid unnecessary medicinal interventions.  

 

7. What was the biggest change that happened once you had your first baby?

 We can't just go to the movies!  My husband and I go to the movies as our hobby.  We see everything - we are cinema connoisseurs.  Now we have to coordinate with my parents or sister - our babysitters - as well as my milk supply!  A long movie requires nursing right before walking out the door!  But really, what hasn't changed?

8. What is your favorite part of the day with your kids?

Bath time .  This is my special time with my daughter since I love to take baths and my husband does not.  Aellyn is a water lover and I get the biggest smiles and coos when we are in the bath together.  I can't wait until she can splash and play! 

 

9. Do you have a favorite age?

I guess I can't say from experience but there is nothing better than an infant melting into your body like you belong to her.

10. What do you and your kids do for fun? 

I like to take a wet cotton ball and rub it on Aellyn's belly and then blow on it - the cool sensation makes her smile and kick and coo with excitement!  We also like to dance in the Moby wrap. 

11. How do you feel about kids and television? Do your kids watch TV?

I think television, like many things, is a tool that can be used well or abused.  I think that programming that is educational and is watched with a parent can be good for a child.  I think that interaction is important and not just plopping the kids down in front of the electronic babysitter.  And, honestly I dislike "television" for the commercials that encourage materialism and sexualize everything. I'd rather use my television with DVDs so I can control the content better and avoid advertisements aimed at young children.  

For now, at 3 months old my daughter doesn't watch TV and I'm not sure when she will start - I'll judge on a developmental basis I guess, probably starting with baby sign language videos or sing-along/dance videos that require participation so we can do them together.

12. What’s your  #1 mom tip?

Trust your mama instincts - they are real and God given! 

3. Where do you blog at and what do you write about?

I blog at Baby Dust Diaries and I blog about life, health, infertility, and starting in June all about being a WOHM while my husband is a SAHD !  (By the way, baby dust is a message board way to say good luck to a women trying to get pregnant).

 

14. Anything else you’d like to tell us about?

I'm an moderator at Cycle Sistas - a great community of infertile women blogging through ultrasounds, blood tests, shots, pills, and other sundries on the quest for a baby.  I'm a member of Resolve, the National Infertility Association, that does wonderful education and outreach about infertility and family building.  Also, if you know someone that is suffering with infertility (and you probably do since it effect 1 in 6 couples in the U.S.) don't miss my How to Support an Infertile Friend .