It was about midnight. Just as we were heading to bed, I went in to check on Lucas. I don't know if my footprints woke him or if he was already awake, but he was looking right at me. He wasn't crying, he wasn't whining, he was just looking at me. Asking to be picked up. To be cuddled.
"Can we bring him to bed?" my husband ask.
"Okay."
I pick him up and yell whispers. "We're going to have a slumber party! Wanna have a slumber party? A slumber party!"as I bring him into our bedroom.
He is laying in the middle of our bed between my husband and I. It's dark and I can't see a thing. It's cold in our house. The windows are open and the fan is on its lowest setting. My feet are freezing but we're snuggled in our blankets.
I reach over to put my hand on Lucas' chest. I find my husbands hand already there, so my hand rest gently on top of his. Then my sweet baby places his hands over ours. Our hands, all three of them, touching.
This is family.
For that brief moment, all was right in the world. All my worries and stresses and pains and frustrations, they all disappeared at that moment. Every ounce of tiredness in me, every bit of anger or anxiousness, it all was at ease.
Every single bill was paid. My house was spotless. I didn't have stretch marks. I didn't have hate mail.
I have the most perfect baby.
It was a perfect moment, as if I was living Heaven on earth.
I think I really was.
One of my favorite things about being a mom is holding my sleeping baby. Sometimes I will pick him up while he's sleeping and hold him while I type at night. I remember when he was an infant, my husband and I would often be watching television in the family room and we would look at each other and be thinking the same thing. Do you miss him? Me too. Then we would get him from his room and take turns holding him while he slept and we watched a movie on low volume.
I think I will always go in his room to hold him and rub his sweet face on mine until he is too heavy to hold. He will never be too heavy to hold. He touches my face and plays with hair like I am his mama and we are best friends. His breaths and his soft snores are the favorite sounds.
And I whisper in his ear, I love you to the moon and back, no I love you further to the moon and back.
Life began when I saw your face
21 comments:
I so know the feeling. Children complete us huh?
For some reason this made me want to cry!! Being a mommy is the best feeling in the world. How old is your Lucas? My Lukas will be 3 on Oct 14.
What sweet post.
I get weepy sometimes when i read Guess How Much I Love You to my baby!
Ahww-So sweet! I love those moments too :)
So sweet! Those are the best moments EVER! I have a 1 and almost 3 year old and I still go and watch them both sleep during the night, so peaceful and perfect!
So sweet!
I am the same way with Emma. I don't know if it's because I feel like she is going to be our last baby or if it just because she is just so darn cute. Haha! I would do the same thing to Caroline when she was little. Then one day I woke up and she was three. {tear}
If you don't have it already you have to buy LOVE YOU FOREVER by Robert Munsch. YOU ARE THAT MOMMY!!! Anyway...I feel the same way. My son and I currently co-sleep, I was afraid to do it at first and now I can't imagine it any other way.
Gosh I got WEEPY when I read that! I so miss those days of snuggling warm baby bodies. The ritual of rocking my babies and watching them enjoy their bottles. *sigh*. If only I was younger!
Congrats on the award too! :)
P.S. Be prepared to cry if you do read the book. I haven't gotten through it yet without choking up.
I thought of that same book, mentioned above. I read it as a child and it made a big impact on me. Thanks for this sweet post, reminding me what it's all about.
I SOOO understand what you're saying! We cosleep with our daughter & EVERY night before we go to sleep I lay there looking at her & then tell my husband for the hundreth time "I can't believe how lucky we are!" It's overwhelming how much love I have for her!
I understand completely what you are saying. Every night I read them a story and they rest their heads against me. I feel so complete. I thought I had before but I guess I just read without having followed you. I am now.
Please stop by my blog today. There is an award there for you. Congrats!
My husband and I are trying to have a baby. I have read a lot of articles, blogs, etc. Some say don't bother having children. You won't have time, your body will be shot... whatever. But then I read this and I know this is why I am doing. I want the love my husband and I have to create someone so wonderful I can't live without.
Thanks for posting.
And Love You Forever is my favorite children's book.
What a beautiful post.
I totally understand. I sometimes pick my boys up at night and rock them in the rocking chair while they sleep. And I too will be picking them up and holding them until physically I can no longer do so.
precious moments. :)
My 3 year-old daughter invited me to go ghost hunting with her yesterday. We sat outside her bedroom door with the lights out (light came in through the window) and played "I spy" for maybe an hour. My baby boy sat with us and giggled along as we looked through the room and found a million types of "ghosts" - toy ghosts, furniture ghosts, colored ghosts, ghost shapes, etc., and I thought, "This is what makes life wonderful." Thanks for sharing your moment of wonder with us.
I just cried, reading that! I feel the same way about my sweet baby.
Oh my gosh- that is EXACTLY how I feel about B, your post could've come right out of my thoughts... (sigh)... I've got to go snuggle him right now!
This is THE sweetest, most precious post on any blog I have read in a looong time.
And yes, you captured that feeling that we mothers feel for our little ones just perfectly.
Thank you for bringing a tear to my eye and joy to my heart. We are so blessed aren't we!?
I love this. Hope you haven't already you print it off. Your son is going to read this and spill tears onto the page at some point in his life. So beautiful.
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