Jan 25

Three Ways How to Speedily Recover From Your Sleep-Deprived Days After Childbirth

It’s the most anticipated day after nine months of carrying your child. You’re about to become a mother. You’ve just met him or her and you couldn’t be happier to see a little you looking up at you.

However, in my own experience, after two months would be your sleepless nights trying to take care of your little one. You’ll become a “zombie mom” after three months of trying to take care of your little baby. However, there’s a way to ensure that you don’t get deprived of sleep.

  1. Delegation of Work

Your husband is a busy man. My husband was a busy man. But you may not know it, but he’s really willing to help take care of your newborn. However, during the best days of our childbearing years, he took the morning shift for me while I was sleeping. He would take my little son Jacques and move him around to ensure that he gets sleep and the nourishment he needs at an unholy time during the night.

  1. Pump Your Bottles

I know how it hurts when your breasts become sore due to being too full. However, if you fill up enough bottles with milk from yourself, you’ll be able to have your husband to the task for you. Many husbands would be willing to do that for their wives, if they really love them that is.

  1. Take Naps

It would be best if you go along the route your baby’s sleeping pattern goes. When you get to sleep together, chances are you’ll get a good rest together. In that way, you reduce the stress of being a mother.

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Nov 27

Encourage Your Children To Be Better Learners, Not Students.

I once met the biggest challenge to parenting I’ve ever faced. When Stefan and Jacques got home with bad grades, they feared I would scold them. Apparently, they saw a child’s parent scolding him for having lacklustre grades.

I was taken aback myself. I was a bit disappointed because our genes were supposed to have above-level intelligence quotients. Instead, I composed myself and asked them.

“Are you interested in what you’re learning?”

To which replies were two headshakes.

Formal education is needed because it affords a person an employment opportunity in a business. But I was looking to see my children learn the things they want, not the things they couldn’t use in the future.

Instead of scolding them, I told them.

“You know, you will need good grades for your future employment. Right now, your focus might be pleasing yourself and your friends first.

“I wouldn’t scold you for bad grades. I know you’re both trying your best. I will not have any control over how you take your education. However, I encourage that you two become better learners. You don’t need to be a better student. All I want is for you to learn things that you’ll need once you get out of school.”

They realised that I will never scold them and that I would just encourage them to do better next time.

Violent resolutions are a big no for me following this little challenge. I am thankful that it happened.

How would you have handled the situation?

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Oct 28

Three Things To Know About Surviving As a Single Mother

Raising two kids isn’t a joke. I have metaphorically broken my back just to get my kids in school with a low-paying job. There are upsides to being a single parent, but if the downsides get to you first, you might fear being one. Here are a few things I learned on the way to becoming a good and successful single mother.


1.  Pay Attention To Yourself


I had a eating problem when I first learned that my body carried Jacques right after their father left me. This eating problem worsened following the news. I didn’t eat too much. At most days, I would never get enough sleep. I was so worried about the kind of future I could give them on my own. It is essential to pay attention to yourself. It is truly a disaster to manage one’s self, but it is the best way to manage any situation effectively.


2. Find People Who Could Help You.


A neighbourhood without an old or middle-aged couple is not a normal neighbourhood. I had Aunt Tessa for my own advisor when I bore Jacques to the world. Aunt Tessa told me that taking care of kids is more than just love and work. It means sharing time together whenever possible and advising them on their behaviour. Then, I met Sarah, a new neighbour who was also a single mother raising a kid my Jacques’ age during that time. Being with them helped me because it felt that I wasn’t alone with my predicament and I had people to help me.


3. Don’t Envy Entire Families


At one point, I couldn’t help yearning for help from the father of my children. It was difficult to manage two kids on my own. I often saw couples walking together, their child in a crib bashful with the way things are going. But for me, I was to endure all of it alone. However, I don’t envy them anymore. Upon realisation, handling two kids isn’t too bad because I could decide what to do with them by myself without arguing with anybody else. Crucial home decisions are easier to manage too.

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Sep 18

Three Simple Businesses Mothers Can Do

I may run a laundry centre as a manager, but I’ve had my fair share of ideas for making a business. Before the owner and I became good friends, I’ve worked with several ideas to support my two children. You may find some use for them, and here they are.

  1. Recipe

Every family has a special recipe and it tastes very delicious. A cooking and dining business works in two ways. First, you may have an ancient recipe that is unique and many people, including other people aside from neighbours, very tasty and of high quality. Second, you may create a great number of meals that are tasty, but of a small price. However, during this time, I couldn’t implement my ideas (we had a special casserole recipe that I gave for free to beach goers, who said they loved it) because they were quite expensive.

  1. Mommy Blogs

This is a business of mine, it may not look like it or it may seem like I’m just sharing information most mothers already know, but this is a business. Of course, it has my personal side, and if you find my blog reliable, then you help me earn my keep. You haven’t spent anything, but I am already earning from my advertisers and sponsors. Blog about your interests and you should find an affiliate who will pay for ever site traffic you have.

  1. Entrepreneur Assistant

A starting entrepreneur will require all the help he or she could get, and offering your services at a minimum wage earns you greater passage to entering higher ground when the business gains footing. If it works out, you would become an integral part of the business too. The best thing about it is that you could just do it at home, online.

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Aug 26

Even Single Mothers Don’t Wish to Be Rich.

It is true that money can make things easier, especially for a single mother like me. It is tiring to take care of two kids and raise them with enough resources to guarantee their future. However, it is a different learning experience for your children and for yourself if money is quite difficult to produce at such a time.

My two kids and I shared a small room apartment that I had rented for a feasible sum as the landlord was kind. I had a work as a waitress in London and it paid well. Meanwhile, my two children studied in the public schools. With welfare and some of our earnings, we managed to make it night after night. We may not enjoy some luxuries, but we learned how to produce our own.

Jacques, being unable to buy some good toys during his age, would ask me to buy him some. At this time, some of my neighbours taught me how to create toys that impart learning, not just enjoyment. I honed my skills at papercraft and papier mache, to which both me and Jacques enjoyed doing. Today, he claims that it sparked his creativity.

Meanwhile, Stephanie found enjoyment in creating structures using blocks and leftover LEGO blocks from our neighbour to nourish her imagination. Eventually, she said this inspired her to have architecture as her primary course.

If I had lots of money, my two children will not be as creative or who they are simply because they will be different versions of themselves. These values we have learned having nothing is the most important treasure of all that not even money could buy.

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Jul 18

Would I Rather Have a Son or a Daughter?

In some countries, culture dictates the type of family you should have. A family in the western world, as where we are, acknowledges the value of both male and female offspring, as they have all the chance in the world to prove themselves and the opportunities are equal, somewhat. However, in other parts of the world, female offspring have no chance of surviving a harsh and cruel reality forged by elderly belief.

I do not condemn these practices, but culture and society have an effect on the formation of families in the world. However, the last say always remains with the parents. Some couples want to have a son alone, because he could provide for himself and have greater opportunities and strengths. Some want daughters, because they can manage for themselves and prolong the culture and values taught by the couple to their offspring.

However, if you ask me, I would never reverse my decision to have both Jacques and Stephanie. Both are dear to me. Before I gave birth to them, I wanted only one child, a male one.

The cynic in me had seen inequality in gender pay, harassment of women in workplaces, even in the western world, and other things I have experienced firsthand that I would not want my daughter born into such a cruel world.

However, when I was given a daughter, I saw what she was for who she was. She was a kind spirit, and a different child altogether than having a son. Jacques was more adventurous, Stephanie was more discreet, yet thoughtful. She was focused on making herself useful, while Jacques always assumed responsibility.

A daughter is a reflection of the mother, and my Stephanie reflects me well. She would grow into a proper person, definitely.

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Jun 19

The Difficulties of Being a Single Mother

As I see my children grow up, I could not help but see myself a proud mother. I have worked all my life to give them the comforts they need, and I know I have given enough tolerance for some of the errors they make. I do give them advice, and we resolve it together, not just Jacques or Stephanie alone. I love my children as they are a reflection of me.

However, when you ask a mother what she would really want to be, I do not know how to answer. Right now, I am in the best place a woman could be; loved and respected by her children who are doing well on their own terms. A single mother must become a father and a mother at the same time. Sometimes, I have some difficulty understanding the maturity of Jacques, as he is a boy, and I do not know how to open up to him about “man” problems because I only had “woman” problems.

But then, he finds himself in touch with his own “maleness” in the company of right friends. Groups of male friends could play it quite rough (he had come home with some injuries to his face, but just said it was because they played soccer and some other contact sport), but that is part of the experience.

One more difficult thing about being a single mother is when you realize that your children are growing up. In six years, Stephanie will be leaving home to live alone for college. Jacques will do the same as well. Then one will be left alone.

But I’m not too worried. I raised good kids. Despite what happens to them, I’ll always be here for them. However, one cannot help the separation anxiety that comes with it.

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Apr 16

There is a Difference Between Neglect and Having Responsible Children

I am a parent who is early to work and late to get home, but I ensure that I have time for my children by talking to them and hearing about how their own days went. Every day, I prepare their breakfast, then leave a note about things that need to be addressed, then I leave the house.

Some neighbours think that I am not a responsible parent as I seem to be because I rarely spend time with my kids. But we do go out most of the time, and they know the nature of my work, they completely understand. We have agreed that they need to be independent and they must know how to handle things ourselves.

We all know for a fact that our children need parental guidance and care, but working an 8-hour shift that sometimes extends to longer hours is needed because our children need to go to school. I have explained to my children the nature of our situation and they have felt the effects of not taking care of the situation firsthand. Now that we have a certain equilibrium in our lives, they understand the value of this equilibrium and the need to preserve it.

There is a difference between neglecting children and training them to be responsible. Some children are more mature than others because the situation calls it, and those children are my own offspring.

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Mar 18

Teaching Your Children About Maturity

Now, my two children might not be of the right age to know about sex, especially the nitty-gritty details, but I have a plan on how to teach them about maturity and sexual relationships. I am not a religious woman myself. I respect cultures, but I would like my children to know better and think for themselves rather than allow some religion or belief to grab hold on them from expanding themselves and their own consciousness.

I have taught my children that maturity is knowing when to hold back, when to fulfil responsibilities, and to focus on progressing or growing as a person by your own means. I also told them it is all about knowing what battles you can fight and win and the fights that you will lose.

So this plan of mine involves talking about maturity and sexual relationships all the same. Sooner or later their bodies will mature and their curiosity can tempt them into having sexual relationships, even intercourse, during their legal, unmarried years. In teaching them about being responsible and “choosing their own battles”, they will understand that pleasure and struggle are two things that should balance one’s life.  With too much of pleasure, one could lose him or herself.

While they might put themselves at risk of early parenthood, a knowledge of maturity will help them understand their priorities and dreams come first before they share their life with another person. Maturity is also knowing how to control one’s self, one’s urges, not because some deity or culture asked about it, but because it is the best way to learn about one’s self and one’s maturity.

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Feb 26

Identifying Responsibilities in a Car Accident Compensation Claim

One day, my neighbour went home with a wrecked car and without her husband. She drove the vehicle home and she was panicking. Her husband had collided with a truck on the freeway and was panicking because his insurance had not yet been fully approved by the company yet.

According to my neighbour, her husband was the one who had been the victim and according to the police report, that was correct. The truck had lost control of its brakes and had left its driver swerving on the freeway towards the side of her husband’s wife.

We found a reputable no win no fee compensation claims company willing to help us resolve her husbands’ case. They told us that the offending party was clearly the one at fault and that her husband may not have an insurance policy, but because we had identified the responsible parties, we can get a claim.

However, the police report also found that the traffic enforcement also made the error leading to the accident. It appears that the truck lost its brakes when it tried to stop to avoid a traffic cone left right in the middle of the road. The police report identified this from a traffic video feed camera.

Eventually, her husband received government support as the claims expert aligned all responsible parties. The truck driver’s company had also provided £11,000 in compensation for her husband’s injuries.

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